Sunday, March 14, 2010

Soccer colonialism? Or reverse-colonialism? Or something?

Uganda LOVES English Premier League soccer. To an unhealthy extent.

I have some American friends whose love for EPL I can't quite understand (Peter, I'm lookin at you), but I don't think even their misguided fanaticism (I guess I played soccer for too many years to enjoy watching a bunch of sissies squirm around on the ground and throw tantrums like 3-year-olds in the candy aisle) would lead them to doing things like naming a primary school after their team of choice.

No joke. "Manchester Primary School" - I definitely remember seeing a sign for that one somewhere. And the kids in the little primary school near my office run around on a playground decorated with logos of one team or another (Manchester United also, I think).

And I'm pretty sure I could pretty accurately sketch out of Arsenal's schedule, based on which nights I fall asleep to the roars of my entire damn neighborhood. Get enough sleep to do a competent job at work tomorrow? Or watch 11 guys who I'll never even see in 3 dimensions get paid too much to prance around and pretend to get knocked over, on a continent 4000 miles away? That's easy!

Now I'd be a hypocrite to pretend that my mental welfare can't be affected by the shenanigans of a bunch of hooligans I don't know following some arbitrary set of rules about how to play with a ball on a pitch of grass.
But at least I have SOME sort of tie to Cal football! I mean, I at least saw the guys on the team in classes (occasionally...), they wear uniforms and ostensibly represent the university to which I staked my reputation, and they occasionally almost beat USC.

But how does someone, born and bred and never-having-left Uganda decide that he will stake his happiness (and sleep schedule) on a team he has never seen, and to which he has no shred of actual attachment? Peter, of Arsenal fan-dome, explained to me that for him the process of deciding on a team was a deeply analytical one, involving a time-consuming and painstaking process of determining which EPL team's style he most supports and whose cultural and history he most identifies with. Fine, I can respect that. But I have a deep, deep suspicion that the uncountable masses of Ugandan (men) whose identities seem to be more aligned with who they "support" than even their (highly culturally salient) tribe have not each and every one gone through that same process.


Basically what I'm saying is: it's dumb.




Crowds around the doorway of a TV shop that happens to be playing some game that somebodies apparently care about. Enough to even watch from an opposite balcony.


There's a TV in there. So life grinds to a halt.



And this has nothing to do with anything: the Old Taxi Park

3 comments:

  1. Did someone mention Cal Football??? GO BEARS!!!

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  2. Up until the second to last paragraph I thought you introduced this whole rant talking about how Peter loves El Pollo Loco... Somehow I missed the first line which clearly stated English Premier League.

    Oh, and go USC.

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